Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Its 3AM and I Must Be Lonely

I keep having nightmares. I don't know why, but I do. I keep having this image over and over again of this figure taking him away from me, and just laughing. It almost seems as if it is rubbing it in my face that it was so easy to steal him away. Like he was never committed to me in the first place.

It terrifies me.

However, amongst the nightmares, I did have one dream I adored. I wanted it to go on forever. I wanted it to be real. I wanted to wake up and see him there, and see the rings, and see everything I saw in that dream. I saw white, and blue, and his smile, and flowers, and cake, and his hand holding mine, and him shaking my father's hand. It wasn't a steady flow of events, but more like snapshots of moments in my head. I heard his laugh and saw his friends. I saw his smile as he kissed me and then I woke up......alone.

I'm so tired of being haunted by my dreams and then slapped in the face by reality.

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